After some self-evaluation, I began to realize that I was the only one standing in the room of myself with no seats allowed and others freely taking up seats in my life, not concerned about me.
They would talk about themselves and blame me for circumstances...that's not how a friendship is suppose to be...
So that is when a change occured, I began to play musical chairs...As the music of my life started playing friends started to loose their seats, upset they had no place to plop down inside of me. They couldn't handle the change in me that was occuring. They could not see me start to make moves for myself and not include everyone that was taking up space. And long story short...there was only one seat left...in the life for B and that was the seat for me! A seat decorated with paint and colors in a alley of darkness. Yup that seat in my life was made only for me. In the midst of the dark alley, I appreciated the still life of me. Of course I was a tad bit bruised and battered, because I allowed others to take up my seats and use them at their own discression. I felt empty for a while because I wasn't used to being alone in my own home.
But just like me, I forced myself to let the others go and keep the only seat for me...I kinda like it this way now, to be able to say what I want, do as I feel and create the environment that I prefer inside of me. I'm working on turning my alley, into a dew drawn meadow of lilies and daisies, as the sun shines down directly on my seat. Then I will I have room for others, but they cannot make a home inside me...they must stand and visit while they talk to me in the midst of my medows, and lilac scent seat. Isn't that how internal being should be?
So welcome and enjoy these articles of me...
lovely post...
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